3 Core Conditions; modern - Empathy, Congruence, and UPR

 

Taming the Mammoth: Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think

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 Empathy, Congruence, and Unconditional Positive Regard

(not forgetting, conditions of worth)

 

The Three Core Conditions

There are three core conditions that are important to provide a climate conductive for growth in a therapeutic relationship.  They are:

1.    Congruence

2.    Empathy/Empathetic Understanding

3.    Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) 

The first, congruence, the counsellor needs to be true to them self, authentic, transparent and genuine and not present a professional façade or air of authority acting like they are superior to the client and that they are some kind of expert who knows all of the answers.

To be truly congruent, the counsellor has to become very self-aware and present how they are feeling so it is what they are really are actually feeling so they are in harmony, otherwise it’s known as incongruence and this will just signal mixed messages to the client – such as giving out the wrong or confusing message like when someone tells you they are happy but when looking sad.

The second core condition is empathy or empathetic understanding, this is when the counsellor will be able to gain insight into the client’s world.  This is done after showing sensitivity with listening and using other learnt skills such as reflecting and paraphrasing in their sessions and additionally also using their intuition, hunches and reading body language signals and other little things so then the counsellor should be able to accurately understand the client’s thoughts and feelings from that client’s frame of reference.

When the counsellor is then able to walk in the client’s shoes and perceive what the world is like from their point of view it demonstrates not only that their view has value, but also that the client is being accepted by the counsellor.

The third, Unconditional Positive Regard is when the counsellor accepts the client unconditionally, without judgement, the counsellor has to possess a non-judgemental attitude towards the client’s behaviour and understand that the client is trying their best therefore the counsellor should hold the belief that the client is a worthwhile person regardless of if they approve of their behaviour as they still see the client as someone worthy and of equal value.

Under these conditions of Unconditional Positive Regard it will mean that the client is then free to explore all thoughts and feelings, positive and negative without danger or rejection, without fear of reprisal as the client does not have to do anything or have any standard behaviour to earn Positive Regard from the counsellor as it is already there because all are considered worthy by the counsellor.

Hough (2001)

Together these three core conditions are believed to enable the client to develop and grow in their own way and expand their identity and to become the person that they really are independent of the pressures of others to act and think in particular ways.