Why do some people make a much bigger deal about their boundaries than others?
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Those
who don't have talk about boundaries, are more likely not to have one.
They are more dangerous than the ones who has boundaries, because they
don't have boundary for themselves (so that anybody can have a say on
them) and they don't see the boundary that others have (so that give
free advice when not asked for!) - believe me, I was one among them,
sorry, I don't know if I am still one among them. Everybody is okay when
I don't have boundaries (thanks to some who consider me like them and
stop at a boundary point which is not defined yet), but for those who
has boundaries, I was (for sure), don't know if I am still, pain on
their neck. "Won't you leave me to do what I want?" - was the general
opinion on me.
But, those who are aware of their boundaries, insist on it a lot - it is indeed good. At the same time, they think that others may also have boundaries just like they have - which is also good. But, they don't try to reduce their boundary limits - that is when some people feel disconnected with them (can't go beyond a limit even if we want to!). The more somebody tries to intrude inside their boundary limit, the stronger the limits are set and enforced. With time, this spoils their relationship with others.
Though we all know what it is to have boundary or not to have one - what is the solution for everyone to feel the same way, is not found. Because, every human is unique. No matter what rules are set, there will be people who violate it!
So, the only thing we could do is, if somebody has a boundary do respect their boundary. If you don't have one, do draw a boundary for yourself. Let those boundaries be safe enough to let you be in touch with others - let that not be a huge wall around you so that you are cut out of others. Let that be present - so that you know your limits on others and others have limited control over you!
All the best!
But, those who are aware of their boundaries, insist on it a lot - it is indeed good. At the same time, they think that others may also have boundaries just like they have - which is also good. But, they don't try to reduce their boundary limits - that is when some people feel disconnected with them (can't go beyond a limit even if we want to!). The more somebody tries to intrude inside their boundary limit, the stronger the limits are set and enforced. With time, this spoils their relationship with others.
Though we all know what it is to have boundary or not to have one - what is the solution for everyone to feel the same way, is not found. Because, every human is unique. No matter what rules are set, there will be people who violate it!
So, the only thing we could do is, if somebody has a boundary do respect their boundary. If you don't have one, do draw a boundary for yourself. Let those boundaries be safe enough to let you be in touch with others - let that not be a huge wall around you so that you are cut out of others. Let that be present - so that you know your limits on others and others have limited control over you!
All the best!
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