Crushes:
Why my crush avoided me when I got jealous of her talking to another guy?
My
crush is preparing for exams, and always studies at the library. She
doesn't have a car so she asked a guy to ride her home every night.
Yesterday I saw her talking to that guy smiling, and just got jealous
again, of which she may noticed. And today they just don't appear! What
should I do?
You already know the answer but I'll say it anyway, and I am going to be blunt...
1.
You have probably already asked her many a times and she rejected you.
So she knows you're behaviour is about preventing other guys getting
close to her. And how you are thinking of no one else but yourself.
2. She hasn't respect for you because she has said no to you many a times and you still orbit around her like a chump.
3.
You have demonstrated that even when a girl said no to you a few times,
you haven't the self respect and self worth to move on. Also she
believes that she was right about saying no to you because you have now
proven in her mind - that if she did say yes - you would have been
controlling possessive kind of guy.
So she's glad she has rejected you.
4.
She knows you are someone who doesn't give a shit about her but you're
own dick, lust, fantasy, and that urging desire to be fulfilled. If you
cared about her you would have respected her wishes and her space, and
stop being jelous.
You would have moved on and approached other girls.
5.
She sees your behavior as disgusting, needy, desperate and poisonous to
her own social life. Hoping you just bloody well dissappear and move
on.
In conclusion = she thinks you're a creep.
Someone to avoid as much as possible.
Especially when she's talking to other guys as you can hinder her chances with someone she likes.
10 Answers
A2A.
It's time for a reality check and the busting of some myths.
Your
"crush" is not really avoiding you. The reason why she didn't appear
today is not because "she may (have) noticed" you getting "jealous
again" but because she had other stuff to do. The world -incredibly
enough- is NOT just revolving around you...
There are a number of lessons you should try to learn as fast as possible:
- You have NO right whatsoever to be "jealous" of your crush. If you've really displayed signs of being jealous to her then you've been making one BIG mistake already: You were creepy. Let me assure you that the very last thing that you want to appear to is being CREEPY. You've got to STOP this behaviour.
- Be(come) aware that NOBODY likes jealous behaviour. It's totally inappropriate and distrustful. Apart from that it's inappropriately possessive and obsessive. You must become aware that this behaviour has nothing to do with her but ALL about you. You are neither sure of yourself nor of her. Therefore I advise you strongly to
- work on your self-esteem and your self-confidence. You should become aware that your crush's choice is NOT a choice against you. Love, like all of life, is a lottery. You can do A LOT but in the end you might still lose. So, if she prefers the guy who gives her a "ride home every night", then that is totally okay. You can be rightfully frustrated over her choice, but you must not let it out on her. She is free to love any one she cares to. Get that firmly rooted in your head, accept this fact and be a polite gentleman about it. THAT shows confidence, good manners and magnanimity.
You ask "What should I do?". This is what you could do:
- Square your shoulders. Raise your head. Breathe deep, shrug it off and look forward. Your "crush" has chosen someone else and life still continues. There are other beautiful daughters from other beautiful mothers.
- Be good to yourself. Console yourself by pampering yourself a bit. Eat your favourite food, see a good movie or listen to your favourite music. Reconnect with Mother Nature by taking a walk in a beautiful park, at the beach or in some botanical garden. Sing if you feel like it. Yes: Sing. Singing can help you overcome tensions of the heart. Meet with a good friend and talk with him about it. Don't just let yourself be sad and frustrated. MOVE!
- You might consider doing something for your self-esteem/self-confiden
ce. Read here for more details: How to Develop Self‐Esteem and here How to Improve Self Confidence. Believe me: Self-esteem and self-confidence are NOT character traits with which you are born with. That's essentially stuff that you learn. You can UNlearn feelings of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. It's worth the effort. You can increase your life's quality significantly if you do! - Treat your ex-"crush" with friendly politeness. Don't be a bad loser. You haven't really "lost" anything because you never "had" anything. You CAN lose her respect if you're not able to be graceful about her choice. I surmise that you don't want that happening. So, behave yourself and become a man with aplomb.
Good luck!
Because
jealousy is yucky, and it's awful to be around. You do not own your
crush, she is not with you, and you have zero right to be jealous of
anyone she chooses to spend time with. By being jealous, you've shown
you're not a good person to be around.
There's
a solution, of course. Figure out why you're jealous and deal with it.
If you want to talk to your crush, talk to her! Don't lurk in the
background wishing she'd be with you and getting upset if she's spending
time with someone else; ask her out! And if she says no, accept that
she has the right to say no, let it go, and find someone else.
You already know the answer but I'll say it anyway, and I am going to be blunt...
1.
You have probably already asked her many a times and she rejected you.
So she knows you're behaviour is about preventing other guys getting
close to her. And how you are thinking of no one else but yourself.
2. She hasn't respect for you because she has said no to you many a times and you still orbit around her like a chump.
3.
You have demonstrated that even when a girl said no to you a few times,
you haven't the self respect and self worth to move on. Also she
believes that she was right about saying no to you because you have now
proven in her mind - that if she did say yes - you would have been
controlling possessive kind of guy.
So she's glad she has rejected you.
4.
She knows you are someone who doesn't give a shit about her but you're
own dick, lust, fantasy, and that urging desire to be fulfilled. If you
cared about her you would have respected her wishes and her space, and
stop being jelous.
You would have moved on and approached other girls.
5.
She sees your behavior as disgusting, needy, desperate and poisonous to
her own social life. Hoping you just bloody well dissappear and move
on.
In conclusion = she thinks you're a creep.
Someone to avoid as much as possible.
Especially when she's talking to other guys as you can hinder her chances with someone she likes.
She is your "crush" - she is not your girlfriend or your fiancee or your wife.
She has no requirement or need or possibly no desire to care about how
you feel. Being incapable of having the ability to read your mind, she
probably doesn't even know you have a "crush" on her.
If she was your girlfriend or your fiancee or your wife, you might be justified in feeling jealous under these circumstances.
It's
all in your mind. The jealousy is a parasite within you that is
ensuring its survival by concocting a story about her avoiding you. You
need to squash the jealousy.
Let's flip the
script. If you were studying by the library but don't have
transportation to get home and a girl offers to drop you, does that mean
that you like the girl or that she likes you? No. If you two are
talking and you laugh at something she says, does that mean that she
likes you or that you like her? No. If a girl that liked you saw you
laughing with her, wouldn't it be short-sighted of her to be jealous?
Yes. And even if she did, she doesn't belong to you so stop acting like it.
Unfortunately,
there really isn't much you can do. If she is just a crush you don't
really know if she feels the same way. She may have a crush on you, or
on the other guy, or someone else entirely. So you really have no right
to be jealous and if she did notice that can be a turn off for her.
She could be thinking "I liked him but, if he gets jealous when we are
just talking, what would he be like if we were together?"
Here is what I suggest. You may still feel jealous inside but you really have no reason to show it. You can either move on or ask her out next time you see her. Try and play it cool...as much as you can at this point.
Good luck.
Here is what I suggest. You may still feel jealous inside but you really have no reason to show it. You can either move on or ask her out next time you see her. Try and play it cool...as much as you can at this point.
Good luck.
You
are suspicious that something may have developed between the two of
them and kit is likely you are right. Do nothing and go on with your
life. Start dating other girls and let the old one go. She may want to
come back after her fling and
it is up to you to decide how to handle it.
Just remember you are both young and nature strongly urges young people to
test their future mate and that is what she is doing. You, on the other hand,
have the same right and you should exercise the option yourself.
Good luck.
Thanks for the A2A
it is up to you to decide how to handle it.
Just remember you are both young and nature strongly urges young people to
test their future mate and that is what she is doing. You, on the other hand,
have the same right and you should exercise the option yourself.
Good luck.
Thanks for the A2A
It is not your fault to be jealous, because you like her.
But
at a level you have to move backwards, because when you could feel she
doesn't like your behaviour but you keep doing that, will just make her
feel annoying. And you will totally lose her indeed.
Try
not to be clingy and have your self-esteem(I just have seen lots of
people here said this word and I feel pretty important for us)
Good luck! Welcome to talk further!
she may have not avoided you in such situation, maybe she was doing something else.
You
are not supposed to get jealous of her talking to another guy because
she isn't your girlfriend so why should you be jealous?
What you should do is tell her your feelings towards her instead of letting her go and maybe that guy likes her too who knows?
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