Sociopathic Female Boss
More than half of the bullies reported to a new national helpline are women - and most of the victims are other women.
The
data from the line also reveal that white-collar bullying among
professional and office workers is far more common than among shopfloor
workers. Nine out of 10 calls involved office-based workers. The public
sector accounts for more than half the calls, with one in five
complainants working in the caring agencies, the NHS or social services.
"Workplace bullying among women is increasing, partly because they are
occupying more senior positions," said Tim Field, an Oxford counsellor
who runs anti-bullying workshops. "Women when they are bullies tend to be more manipulative and divisive,
whereas men in the same situation are more overtly hostile. Women also
tend to leave less evidence about their bullying activities. "In around
10 per cent of the cases dealt with by the advice line, suicide had been
contemplated. Eight cases involved actual suicide." Elaine Bennett, a
director of the Andrea Adams charity which was set up to tackle
bullying, believes that the increase is probably in areas where women
have not been in positions of power before. "Where women have been at
the top for a long time, as in health and education, you do get the
tyrant matrons and headmistresses." She says that in some cases women
moving into management jobs are copying the male managers who held the
job before them. "Women who are finding themselves in roles which
hitherto have not been held by a woman - maybe they are the first one on
to the board or to be a senior manager - may well take on some of the
traits of male managers with much more of a macho aggressive culture,"
she said. National Workplace Bullying Advice Line: 01235-834548
Posted by: straightshooter
Date: 12/9/2005 8:28:24 AM
I
would like to hear some comments on female vs male bossology.I
personally am a female and I find male bosses to be better in many ways -
they are fairer, do not cultivate "pets", do not gossip much, are more
performance oriented and do not tend to micromanage unless they are
control freaks (which I have not had). On the contrary, female bosses
have overblown egos, are extremely sensitive to gossip and negative
comments about their personae, are pathologically jealous and create an
atmosphere of "girliness" - I had one colleague send our female boss
Valentine cards and gifts. They are also more vindictive and even cruel
(some cases relate to personal health issues and family matters).
It's
a little-known fact that a woman can be as severe a bully in the
workplace as a man, and according to experts, such behaviour among women
is increasing.
Melbourne
psychologist Evelyn Field says women bully just as much as men do, "but
because more bullies are managers and more managers are male, more
bullying is done by men. But you certainly get a lot of bullying from
women and sometimes they behave more aggressively than males."
... ... ...
"Women will copy the patterns and behaviours of males, so that they become really quite aggressive," Field says.
Prominent
British anti-bullying campaigner Tim Field said that at least half of
3000 bullying reports made to the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice
Line involved a female serial bully (who had bullied several
co-workers). No such figures exist on the gender of Australian workplace
bullies, but local experts estimate Australian figures would reflect
Britain's.
In
2001-02, 1148 claims of workplace bullying were reported to the
Victorian WorkCover Authority, compared with 1107 in the previous year.
In her recently released book, Catfight,
which explores female competitiveness, US author Leora Tanenbaum found
that "working women are expected to be aggressive and masculine. Worried
about being perceived as a mediocre or incompetent worker, many women
go out of their way to prove they are not too emotional or passive, and
can be more aggressive and demanding than any man."
She
points to groundbreaking research undertaken in the '70s, which she
says is still relevant today. The researchers — psychologists Graham
Staines, Carol Tavrid and Toby Epstein Jayaratne — coined the term "Queen Bee" to describe a token woman at a high level in a corporate environment.
Based
on questionnaire responses from 20,000 women, they found that "the
Queen Bee who is successful in a male-dominated field identifies with
the male colleagues who are her reference group, rather than with the
diffuse concept of women as a class . . . (she) thereby disassociates
herself from the fundamental issues of equality for women, while
reassuring her male colleagues that she is not of that militant ilk."
Tanenbaum also found that professional women were often hardest on their own sex.
"Many
professional women confess they prefer male rather than female
supervisors. They complain that women at work refuse to share power, or
withhold information, or are too concerned about receiving credit for
every little thing they accomplish, or are cold toward underlings (male
and female alike). In such complaints they use the word 'bitch' a lot,"
she says.
Tim
Field believes the stereotypical view of men as aggressive and women as
nurturing often prevents the female serial bully from being seen for
what she is: "A sociopath in a skirt."
... ... .,.
Evelyn
Field said female bullies were often more subtle in their behaviour
than their male counterparts. "Women are usually less physical, they
would use techniques such as excluding others, over-supervising and
controlling and verbal abuse."
Ricky
Nowak, a workplace communications training specialist and head of the
company, Confident Communications, says women's bullying is "often
quieter, behind closed doors, over the phone, via curt emails, or
through giving their staff a sense of . . . (being overwhelmed), for
example: asking women with families to stay behind when they don't
really have to do so."
Nowak
runs leadership groups for professional women and says she has had many
disclosures from women admitting they had bullied their colleagues.
"It was behaviour such as intimidating others, standing over them, giving colleagues the silent treatment and so on."
Evelyn
Field describes bullying as a problem for everyone. "The micro level is
the individual target who can be affected emotionally, physically,
socially, career-wise, financially, family-wise over a long-term basis
and many of them have severe health problems," she says.
"The
onlookers also get affected — 20 per cent of onlookers will leave the
job, others will have sick days and suffer poor morale. And the cost to
industry is enormous — bullying is everyone's problem."
The Female Sociopath (Female): Using
her false mask, this charming individual plays the helpless or needy,
pitiful, inept or emotionally unable to cope. Even total strangers give
her things she gratefully accepts. Falsely claiming to be the victim,
this passive parasite lures and abuses the normal protector/provider
instincts in her male target. When her mask comes off she is cunning,
ruthless, predatory, and loveless.
Treatment
of such case: This 'damsel in distress' will try to hook and reel you
in. Take the hook out of your lip. Don't make her emotional neediness
your problem. This black hole of need can never be filled. Understand
the mask of helplessness is not the "real her". If she won't give
reasonable answers to reasonable questions turn and leave. Beware and
remember the Female sociopath is deadlier than the male as she uses
sexuality as a lure. Avoid financial or emotional involvement.
The Deceptive Sociopath (Male or Female): They
will lie for no reason. They will skilfully twist your words, evade
questions, and omit important facts in their ever-changing, self-serving
goals. This hypocrite claims high morals then proceeds to exploit,
manipulate and abuse others. He will accuse you of being crazy and
emotionally cruel.
Treatment
of such case: Quietly verify what they say. Do not try to negotiate or
bargain. If they have been caught out on their lies too many times,
leave them.
Frictional Sociopath (Male or Female): puts
people against each other. Victims may be used as their proxy
interacting with others as they set victims up to take the fall while
they enjoy watching the performance they orchestrates. They keep their
allies and targets separate to avoid exposure. Verbally skilled at
twisting people’s words, this charmer usually gets their way. Applying
'fear' selling tactics, faking expertise, this scam artist crafts
situations to appear indispensable, ready to solve our problems. Money
and conning others are their objective. They will agree to anything then
turn around and do the opposite. They will accuse you of breaking the
contract. Legal, custody agreements and normal social or personal
protocol mean nothing to them. They enjoy playing the role of the
victim.
Treatment
of such case: Expect them to disregard the agreement. Avoid
involvement. Be self-sufficient. Avoid any "Trust-Me" get-rich-quick
sales pitches. Learn how swindlers and scam artists operate.
If he's not physically violent, he may be a bully. And, keep in mind that aggression is not limited to men—female sociopaths can also be violent.
The
main characteristic of it is a complete and utter disregard for the
rights of others and the rules of society. They seldom show anxiety and
don't feel guilt. Although many people would hope that there's an
effective treatment, there's really no effective treatment for them
other than locking them up in a secure facility with such rigid rules
that they cannot talk their way out. A full list of APD traits would
include:
List
of Antisocial Personality Disorder Traits Sense of entitlement;
Unremorseful; Apathetic to others; Unconscionable behavior; Blameful of
others; Manipulative and conning; Affectively cold; Disparate
understanding; Socially irresponsible; Disregardful of obligations;
Nonconforming to norms; Irresponsible
whereas the DSM-IV "clinical" features of Antisocial Personality Disorder (with a person having at least three of these characteristics) are:
Clinical Symptoms for an Antisocial Personality Disorder Diagnosis
1.
Failure to conform to social norms; 2. Deceitfulness, manipulativeness;
3. Impulsivity, failure to plan ahead; 4. Irritability, aggressiveness;
5. Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others; 6. Consistent
irresponsibility; 7. Lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated, or
stolen from another person
Sociopathy
is chiefly characterized by something wrong with the person's
conscience. They either don't have one, it's full of holes like Swiss
cheese, or they are somehow able to completely neutralize or negate any
sense of conscience or future time perspective. Sociopaths only care
about fulfilling their own needs and desires - selfishness and
egocentricity to the extreme. Everything and everybody else is mentally
twisted around in their minds as objects to be used in fulfilling their
own needs and desires. They often believe they are doing something good
for society, or at least nothing that bad. The term "sociopath" is
frequently used by psychologists and sociologists alike in referring to
persons whose unsocialized character is due primarily to parental
failures (usually fatherlessness) rather than an inherent feature of
temperament. Lykken (1995), for example, clearly distinguishes between
the sociopath (who is socialized into becoming a psychopath) and a
"true" psychopath (who is born that way). However, this may only
describe the "common sociopath", as there are at least four (4)
different subtypes -- common, alienated, aggressive, and dyssocial.
Commons are characterized mostly by their lack of conscience; the
alienated by their inability to love or be loved; aggressives by a
consistent sadistic streak; and dyssocials by an ability to abide by
gang rules, as long as those rules are the wrong rules. As Stout (2005)
indicates, it only takes three of the following to be defined as a
sociopath, and some common sociopathic traits include:
List of Common Sociopathic Traits
Egocentricity;
Callousness; Impulsivity; Conscience defect; Exaggerated sexuality;
Excessive boasting; Risk taking; Inability to resist temptation;
Antagonistic, deprecating attitude toward the opposite sex; Lack of
interest in bonding with a mate
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